As the big departure approaches, the pressure is on and the questions run through your mind as a parent: “Will my children fit in?”, “How will they cope with being away from the rest of the family?”, “What will happen if we don’t like our life there?”.
It’s true that this is no easy task. For each member of the family, it means adapting to a new life, a new country, a new culture, new friends and sometimes a new language. To make a success of this project, discussions are of course necessary, as well as good administrative, material and psychological preparation.
Of course, there will be a few killjoys who will judge this decision as unconscious, selfish and thoughtless, and who will express their incomprehension. Guilt and doubt will regularly dampen (or even spoil) your excitement, joy and impatience in the months leading up to your departure. Not to mention a few sleepless nights and swallowed chocolate bars… 😉
And yet… it’s certainly one of the best decisions you’ll ever make, both for yourself and for your children. You’ve got a wonderful adventure ahead of you (although it’s not without its pitfalls).
On the other hand, we tend to think that expatriating solo or as a couple has more advantages than as a tribe: it’s more practical, simpler and so on. During preparation, perhaps (less paperwork, no need to look for a school or day-care center, budget, etc.), but once you’re there: nay !!!!
Here’s proof by 5 that living abroad as a family has many advantages. Expatriating as a family allows you to :
1- Strengthening the family
Faced with difficulties and the unknown, people tend to seek refuge with those closest to them. “Unity is strength” is a particularly true saying during expatriation: braving the trials of life abroad, members of the same family will show more solidarity with each other than in their homeland.
There’s nothing likeexpatriation to bind a family closer together: bonds become closer, confidences more common, shared moments more numerous, and memories unforgettable.
2- Integrate faster and easier
Long live school! Thanks to school, our little ones will make new friends and discover that friendship transcends borders. But the good news is that parents will benefit too 😉
As far as adults are concerned, the school is a wonderful breeding ground for potential acquaintances and friends. The parents who bring their children to this school have a lot in common with you: the children (Bonjour Monsieur La Palissade), the neighborhood, the concerns and activities. There are plenty of subjects to talk about, which makes it easier to approach: homework, teachers, head lice, etc. 😀
There’s nothing like waiting for hours on a bench (until Junior’s game is over) to strike up a conversation with another “commis d’office”: time flies, don’t you think? 😉
3- Learn a language much faster
Learning a foreign language is a must in some countries, and here again it’s handy to have several people facing the same “problem”.
Be mentally prepared for your children to take you by the scruff of the neck: going to the local school or little neighbors, not to mention their brains being less “wrinkled” and more spongy than yours, will enable them to learn at lightning speed.
It’s rewarding for them (“I speak better than Mum”, “Dad, with your accent, the gentleman can’t understand a thing”), challenging and touching for you: everyone benefits, and you learn and master the local language more quickly than if you’d expatriated alone or in pairs.
4- Positiver
Contrary to popular belief, life abroad isn’t always idyllic: it’s regularly punctuated and tarnished by moments of doubt and/or the blues.
Alone, or even as a couple, it’s easier to give in to sadness, moping and “crying over one’s fate”. With children, on the other hand, it’s up to you to put on a positive face and overcome your own homesickness, especially if your children have been reluctant to relocate from the outset, or have experienced going abroad as uprooting.
It’s up to us to reassure them, to prove to them on a daily basis the merits and benefits of expatriation, and to make them want to integrate: we stress the good things about their new life, we congratulate them, we encourage them, we admire them for their speed and ease of adaptation, and above all, we show patience.
By doing so, we don’t have time to feel sorry for ourselves, and we learn to get over our homesickness and appreciate the good things about this great family adventure.
5- Discover, discover, discover!
As a logical follow-up to the previous point, to ensure that our children (and ourselves, of course) enjoy their life abroad, we make sure that every free day is extraordinary: we visit a new place, take part in a local activity, attend a traditional festival, meet the locals, etc. We also make sure that every day is a special day for our children.
In short, we don’t stay cooped up at home : we go out and make every outing an adventure… whereas alone, the temptation is great to stay at home, spend hours on the Internet or in front of the TV… and miss out on a lot!
In short, going abroad with your tribe has its share of fears, efforts and pitfalls, but dear parents, believe me, if you have the opportunity to live this beautiful adventure, the “game” is worth the candle. 🙂
